Saturday, August 9, 2008

Fart Putty--the ultimate humiliation.

Everyone who knows us well knows that we are not ones to embarass easily, but get this one...

I go to Wesco yesterday to get a newspaper. The kids, as usual, are with me and go in with me. We get about 2 feet into Wesco and I hear......(how do you spell the sound that a nasty fart makes???).....anyways, I hear a fart, turn around, and it's my lovely son who has brought in what we call "Fart Putty," which is like putty that goes in a jar and you push it in and it makes very lovely nasty sounds. Great stuff.

Anyways, so that happens. He starts laughing and points at me and says (in his loud voice) MOM FARTED! And continues to make the sounds, walking behind me right behind my butt, proclaiming to everyone in earshot that "my mom is farting." All the while, little sister is following right along chanting "mommy farted" and singing "skunk in the barnyard..."

Even though I KNOW I'm not farting and it's obvious those sounds are "fake" I start turning red when just about every male in the store starts laughing and saying "right on" to Haiden. This only fuels him more, and he tells these guys that mom farts all the time and can't eat spaghetti because it makes her fart even more (okay...we won't get into that one. Let's just say I stay away from pasta). I'm turning really red by that point and sweating like crazy even though it's like 60 degrees in that place.

I pay for my paper after waiting in line a hellish 2 or 3 minutes, and practically run out of the place with kids at my heels (or rather, behind my hind end, still making sound effects and Hannah chanting "pee-you mommy") and all the customers and staff laughing at us.

Later in the day (we're still on the same day here), Haiden brings the same fart putty to my doctor appointment and hides behind the exam table making fart sounds the entire time we were in there. He tells the doctor that I need a shot because I pooped my pants, and Hannah agrees, saying "mommy has a stinky diaper."

This is what I deal with on a daily basis with these kids...anyone want to borrow them????


Rose said...

That is TOO funny! I'd have snatched that putty away from him with the quickness. You're a brave woman. ;)

Just to remind you - I did not buy him any fart putty. It wasn't me! LOL

This Crazy Life O' Mine... said...

I can't hold the blame to anyone besides ourselves for this one...