Friday, February 26, 2010

Story time mooning

Tonight for bedtime reading time, Hannah picked this sweet little story about a mama bird who is telling her baby bird that no matter where she goes, her love is always with baby bird. We made it through the entire story with Hannah saying "awwww" after every page and snuggling very sweetly at my side. Until the end. This is where Hannah stood up and said "mommy, know where I put your love? (the baby bird kept the mama bird's love in his shirt pocket in case you're wondering)....IN MY BUTT!" And she proceeded to pull her pj's down and mooned me, wiggling her nekked rear in my face.
Now isn't that the gosh darndest cutest thing ever? Seriously. Where do they learn these things?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Coprophagia

For those of you who may not know what coprophagia is, it's when dogs eat their own or other dog's poo. Your education for today.
You may wonder why on earth I am talking about that today, so here is how it came up.
The other day, we were driving around Muskegon along the lakeshore and, well, bored out of our minds, and somehow the topic of how we are so lucky because of all the dogs we have had, we have never had one with this particular ailment. Because that would be gross, you know?
Anyways, I said something along the lines of "you know there is stuff you can buy at the pet store that keeps them from eating it...." to which Jeremy responds very seriously at first until he realized what he said...
"yeah, I think it makes it taste like crap or something."
Just another little daily quip that was oh, so funny. To us at least.

Monday, February 22, 2010


She was with us only a short 2 years, but she somehow wrangled her way into our home and into our hearts. On February 16, 2010, we had to put our 14-1/2-year-old pitbull Jewell to sleep.
For those of you who did not follow or read me before, we got Jewell from Jeremy's grandma when she went in to have back surgery, thinking it would be a temporary babysitting job, which actually turned into a permanent situation once it was clear that his grandma was not going to be able to keep up with this elderly, needy dog.
She was such a sweet dog, never growled, bit, or snarled...She came to our house not really fond of little children and wary of other dogs, and turned out to be the biggest child snuggler of all time within a few short weeks and even snuggled up with Lenny, Bruer, Brodi, and Lucille on occasion. She loved car rides, licking plates after dinner, snuggling and getting pet by her humans, and snoozing in her favorite spot on the couch, which she rarely left except to do the above activities. She had just learned to play tug-o-war with Lucille and would play until she would wheeze herself into a frenzy. She was scared of loud noises, her own farts, and our killer pet duck. She will be missed!




Saturday, February 20, 2010

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad....WEEK!

Yes, you read it correctly. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week over here. Let me begin:
Monday: Hannah began barfing at approximately 2 a.m. every 20 minutes until about 8 a.m. the next day (which brings us to Tuesday). Lucille had to be dropped off at the vet for her surgery (getting spayed) between 8 and 8:30 a.m., Haiden had to be dropped off to school by 8:50 a.m. Hannah barfed a few times during this transit time, which made for a lovely smelling car. At about 11 a.m. that same morning, Jewel stopped breathing. She fell over and couldn't get up. We called the vet and had to set up an appointment to bring her in and have her put down. This was the 5th time in 2 days she had stopped breathing and was having seizures/tremors and it was time. I had put off this inevitable appointment several times, hoping she would just go on her own, but true to any dog belonging to us, she just kept going and going and going.
Anyways, at 3:00 we took her in and had her put down. Poor girl. I'm going to give her her own blog entry though, so I will speak of her in more endearing terms there. We picked up Lucille, who was still groggy, dripping snot, and totally out of it. We found out she had hemorrhaged during surgery and nearly died during this routine procedure. Poor Lucille. I wondered if it was some of the soap or other possible anticoagulants she has munched on. All was well the rest of the day other than being sad that Jewel was gone.
Wednesday: We started the day so-so. Haiden told me in the morning his stomach didn't feel so well, but thought it was from eating breakfast too fast, so off we went to school. I picked him up that afternoon, only to have him come to me clutching his stomach, flopped on the rug in the classroom, and pronounced his stomach hurt very bad and he had felt sick all day, but instead of telling the teacher "because I didn't want the kids to laugh at me and I was embarrassed," he suffered all day long and held it in until...
I started to help him get his coat on and he proceeded to barf all over me, the floor, his coat, boots, etc. Ew. He barfed another 3 times on the way home and every 30 minutes or so after that, then the diarrhea and fever started.
And then....at about midnight, I started as well.
All freaking day Thursday: Haiden and I barfed and did the sit/kneel thing all day long. Hannah danced around singing, dancing, jumping off furniture, and pronouncing she wanted to go "somewhere" all day long. Lucille was feeling A-OK by now too, so she was prancing around wanting to play and chew on everything in sight, including the "barf buckets" Haiden and I had at our sides at all times. Finally...at about 8 p.m. Haiden stopped throwing up. I stopped around the middle of the night at some point.
Friday: Weak. Sick still. Aching ribs and stomach muscles. Headache from hell. Ugh.
Saturday: YaAAAAAy! Feeling much better. Kids are both better. Lucille is better. We all feel better! I can work without having to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes! Hooray!
So there's my week. It was not a good one, putting it mildly. The best part of it is that I lost 8 pounds from all the puking action, although it will come back on as soon as I start eating normally again. The good news is that my stomach is shrunk a bit so as long as I keep eating small portions and healthy, I won't feel like I'm starving unless I go overboard.
Quotes from the week:
Hannah: "Oh, I'm never ever never going to eat at McDonalds again!" YES!!! Finally, something to take away her obsession with McDonalds...we hardly ever go there, but she seems to think it is the place to be.
Haiden: "Mom, I am SO 'up' with playing video games when I'm sick." I think he meant "down with it" and thinks down is bad, so "up" is good?
Hannah: (Saturday--4 days after Jewel died) "Mom, I can't find Jewel anywhere. I looked all over for her." ummmmm....
Haiden: (Saturday--4 days after Jewel died) "Mom, Hannah can't find Jewel. I think she might have died under my bed." ummmmm....
Me: "UGH. No more Ben and Jerry's chocolate brownie ice cream." I won't get into details, but it was gross, let me tell ya.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Super cute puppy on lockdown.

And what the hell is this, you may ask?
This is the previously-mentioned super cute puppy who did not act so super cute today.
Today, this puppy decided she was going to eat a bar of soap, drink from an unflushed toilet (complete with fishing out soggy toilet paper treats and gobbling a few bites down), and then gently pulled the ASPCA Pet Poison Control Center magnet off the fridge with her little evil teeth and ate it after shredding it to bits.
She is currently on suicide watch. I don't know if this was a cry for help or an actual suicide attempt. She is currently on lockdown until further notice.

Yes, my kids are weird. I admit it.

What the hell is this, you may ask?
This is my darling little boy cramming himself into a size 12 month Harley-Davidson vest and hat he wore when he was, oh, about 12 months old. What you don't see in the picture is that he is in his underwear and wearing winter boots. What a stud.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Wake UP!

'Git up pardner!
This would be how we wake up little boys who are dragging in the morning. Notice the high heels--yep, she sleeps in them too!